run, i'm a natural disaster
by Call Me Tom
Summary: Greed's new gang is in a bit of trouble. Not only are they on the run, but someone accidentally activates a dusty array, changing their lives and their future quite a lot. [ Or, Ed's a girl, and how this changes the group dynamic.] / A fan-fic 100- style drabble series; mostly gen, AU.
1. New

_Yeah, I'm on the run  
See where I'm coming from,  
When you see me come and run  
Before you see what I'm running from_

_No time for question asking, time is running by, alright!_

_You can't win, child  
We've all tried too  
You've been lied to  
It's already inside you_

_You either run now or best get ready to die_

_Run, I'm a natural disaster – Gnarls Barkley_

* * *

**01: New**

Once the light flash is over and everything stops shaking, they all look at each other. Heinkel is on top of Darius where they had fallen backwards after trying to investigate the circle. Greed is leaning against the wall, red eyes wide and mouth open, ready to yell at them for being careless and stupid (because damaged property is pretty much worthless after all) and looks a far cry from his usual state of snarky coolness. Ed- oh, shit- Ed, the little alchemist brat that all of them tease but are growing to like is lying motionless on the floor, half in and half out of the dust covered circle.

"Oi, Kid!" Greed calls, the prince in his head echoing with a horrified "_Ed!" _ The homunculus steps forward and the chimeras do an awkward knee shuffle towards the red-blond as well. The movement stirs Ed, and his eyes flutter open quickly, before he stands himself up. Greed snorts, cross with himself that he was worried, though Ling is being all happy and loud so he can't help the smile that crosses his face. "Glad you're awake, kid. Let's get a move on, after that I don't think this shelter's structurally sound and I wanted a better place to stay anyway."

He turns, expecting the others to trail after him as they have done these past few weeks, but Gorilla Man and Kitty only follow a few steps before turning to Ed who was standing still, pale faced with a pensive look. "Kid, what's wrong?" asks Heinkel, concern dripping into his voice. Ed turns around, slowly and they see it. His face, body- it's wrong.

Ed's face is narrower, his jaw no longer square. His hair's thinner and lighter, looking softer to the touch. Where hard lines had defined his body, there are now curves (and isn't _that_ strange?), with less obvious muscles. He is slimmer, more athletic with narrower shoulders. He _is _the right height for his age now, Heinkel notes, before shaking his head to clear it of the thought.

Ed sighs and claps his hands, transforming his clothes into tighter fitting feminine versions, glaring at them and daring them to comment. Darius looks bamboozled and Greed is almost salivating at the sight. Ed flips them off and starts walking with Heinkel.

"Fuck"  
"What?"  
" I just realised I'm going to need to get new underwear. Fucking alchemy malfunctions."

* * *

A.N.: So, I'm writing drabbles again. AU (I think that's all I can write), featuring fem! Ed as a catalyst for all changes to canon universe.

This is going to be mostly gen/family (unless you squint through shipper glasses), featuring Heinkel as father figure, Darius as the uncle figure, and Greed and Ling as the older brother/ possible lover to Ed, the youngest and only girl. A true family of BAMFs.

It's set during or post-canon, with shameless manipulation of events for my own amusement.

There are roughly 400 words per drabble (or as close as I can get to either way), and using the use the fanfic 100/100x format. I do have a prompt master list saved to my computer. If you're interested, or want to request a drabble (and hopefully one that goes with the prompt), PM me or review, or something, and I'll do my best.

Also, should I keep this as a K+ or move it to T, because the 'f' word is common where I'm from (with actual for year olds using it), but I'm as low class as you can get, so all you civilised people should tell me when it is acceptable to use in society and what rating it makes it.

_I hope you enjoyed, and feel free to review!_

_- Call Me Tom_

_**Blanket Disclaimer: **_**I do not own any characters/places mentioned. They belong to the franchise[s] respective owner[s]. The plot of this fan work and original characters are my intellectual property. I make no profit out of this.**


	2. Broken

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**02: Broken**

It is Ed's- they decide not to change her name in the end, no matter how much Greed (_Ling_) wants to call her Rosalind or Sandra or other princess names- first menstrual cycle, and as expected, things are going _swimmingly_. Darius sports colourful bruises on both sides of his face (when asked, he lies and says he tripped. He's not going to admit a pipsqueak of a girl tried to beat him to death for taking away the chocolate she stole from the last town). She's cried a few times, done her best to kill everybody and hugged them all at least once. Greed, surprisingly, is dealing with it the best and being quite sympathetic. He gives a throwaway line about female friends (Ed's eyes are soft when she whispers "_Martel_" and her voice is impossibly sad), before he turns back to attempting to blag his way into free painkillers.

Heinkel thinks that he drew the short straw when it came to animal instincts coupled with human ones, because now Ed is all delicate and young looking he feels like he has to look after her, and, fuck if it isn't the hardest thing he's tried to do in the past few years. Even now, when she's doped up on drugs and hormones, she's always moving, putting herself in harm's way. She claps and shelter appears, claps and a broken thing is fixed, claps and a fire starts, just _claps_ and that's all people will need to find her. There aren't many (not even five, according to Greed, when they're talking around the glowing campfire one night after Ed's stomped off to her alchemised shelter complaining of volcanoes and earthquakes in her stomach) alchemists that can transmute without a circle, so the military can track them down easily. And since he was in the military, he knows what they do to little girls, (a_ shot in Ishval, shredding clothes and forcing, and monsters, animals of men_) and it breaks him inside.

So he hands her painkillers, returns her hugs, and rubs her back when she cries. He knows Greed feels the same, as he talks with her about people named Al, and Lan Fan, places called Dublith and Xing, and steals painkillers of old ladies with too many cats.

They both laugh when Ed breaks Darius' nose with her metal foot, for "belittling her pain".

She'll be fine (_for now_).

* * *

**AN: **I'm glad everyone is enjoying the proof of my madness, and I thrive in your comments. I'm trying to keep ten drabbles ahead of what I'm publishing, so when there's a delay or something, I can post more.

Not much to say about this one, except YAY ANGST AND STUFF ALL THE TIME, because it features quite a lot in these drabbles. If only you could add more than two genres...

Tell me if you enjoyed, or have a request or something. If it's something that sparks my interest, by can't include in one of the prompts, I'll put it in a seperate story. (For example steampunk!AU of 'run'.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_


	3. Hope

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**03: Hope**

His little gang is going quite well, Greed reflects (_a fuzzy snapshot of the Devil's Nest appears before flickering away_). The chimeras are obedient, used to following orders, and strong. They are most importantly, loyal, but not _too_ loyal (_a dog loyal to its master, a servant loyal to her lord_) and that's enough for him. He has the bratty blonde alchemist as well, something he hadn't hoped for. A genius, a prodigy with alchemy that all they need to do is clap and what they want would happen, with combat experience and loyalty that was earned, not bought; voluntarily attached themselves to him. And due to a mistake in the early days, he had become she. Not something he was exactly expecting, but not something he minded (_Nor do I_, smirks Ling in the back of his mind).

Greed lets himself think on the future, his own little goals. He wants everything, and even though he _knows _deep down that it's impossible, that even that wouldn't fill up the hole inside his chest, he can't help but keep dreaming; keep wanting. He wants to get revenge on Wrath, and Father, for taking what is his. He wants to become Emperor of Xing- a country far bigger than Amestris, and all he would have to do is kill thirteen people and he could rule over it and have almost everything he desires (_Ling grins at the back of his mind, polishing his sword and he can _tell_ that he's laughing at him, but in an oddly friendly way_). He wants to **keep** his rag-tag team, though he doesn't know how to say it without being a complete sap.

He knows (and Ling likes to remind him), that Ed's first concern is always her brother, fuck everyone else. They have a weird co-dependent thing going on, as in, Ed keeps Al healthy and Al keeps her sane, and she can't (_won't_) let him go until she has him back in his proper body. Darius and Heinkel, the snarky old men, are going to end up on a laboratory slap or dead, or something; and Greed won't have that. He knows that they'll stick with him, at least for now, because currently it's their best option. He's realistic, if another option that's better comes along, they'll take it.

Greed laughs, because he still holds onto the thought that Lion and Gorilla Man will stick with him through thick and thin, and Ed will fix Al, and then continue with on the road with him. Silently, he's glad that Ling can't leave him.

* * *

**A.N.: **Because Greed and feels go together like fish-fingers and custard.

Tell me if you enjoyed, or have a request [e.g. have Ed meet Mustang, or bring Al there, or what's going to happen with Winry] or something. [If it's something that sparks my interest, by can't include in one of the prompts, I'll put it in a separate story ~ like a fusion-AU! of 'run' set in Harry Potter or Supernatural, etc.]

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**Thanks go to Shinigami Hollow, Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my day**._


	4. Circle

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**04: Circle**

Ed's life is made of circles. As an alchemist, it's unavoidable. They denote the flow of power and dictate its flow and purpose.

A circle was the thing that made his-her mother smile, books full of circles were all his-_her_, dammit, father left behind. Circles taught them, whispered secrets of the universe to him-fuck, her, bent them to her will, and ended up ruining her life, and destroying her brother. She doesn't need them now, and secretly she is grateful, because drawing circles makes her feel guilty and breaks her heart. But she can't stop seeing them, can't stop drawing them, because there is always something that a clap won't solve, and moving forward has never been so hard.

Yet another circle has turned her life around now. They were at a warehouse, looking for a place to stay, and she'd spotted chalk on the floor, underneath the dust. Truth be told, she'd wondered why she couldn't just transmute them a place, but apparently places appearing and disappearing out of nowhere with a crackle of transmutation lightning wasn't very subtle. (_Fuck subtle_, she thinks, and wishes she'd gone against Greed anyway). She'd been standing, one leg in and one leg out, ready to clap and remove the dust without activating the array, when Darius and Heinkel had bent to touch one edge.

And then Edward Elric was suddenly "Edwarda "Elric, with breasts and vagina and uterus and womb and everything else that made a female female. She had immediately started scanning through all she could recall of medical texts that Winry had leant them (Al and him, back when she was he) and how the female body functioned.

Late at night, he screams and swears and curses, glares at how the universe has fucked him over again. In daylight, or around the others, she smiles and jokes, getting used to her femininity and how their group dynamic has changed. (She pretends not to notice that Darius is being automatically protective of her around other men, how Heinkel will comfort her and how Greed and Ling are nicer to her).

She can't fix this, not even with her clap alchemy or circle drawing, because that would be human transmutation and she won't risk not being able to save Al. So she'll get up and walk, because it's getting to the point where she's not even uncomfortable with it anymore.

* * *

**AN:** Ed x Angst, because that ship is pretty damn canon.

Most of you wanted Roy, and some of you wanted Al, so they're coming up. (Please remember that I am ten drabbles ahead so they could be anywhere from eleven-fourteen at this point.)

Any requests for characters, mini-plot lines; as well as any requests for AUs, fusions and cross-overs are taken and much appreciated.__

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my day**.}_


	5. Doorway

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**05. Doorway**

Breaking and entering is something none of them have problems with. Greed will take what he wants, it's in his very nature, and a door won't stop him. Ed seems to have no problems, easily alchemising her way through whatever's thrown at her (she once mentions that she'd broken into enough classified places, with barbed wire and immortal guards, so a puny door wouldn't stop her). Heinkel and Darius have been in war zones, they've forced doors open and run in shooting, screams and blood all around and pulses pounding in time with machine gun rattle.

Killing, on the other hand, is something that all of them have their own issues with. Heinkel and Darius are soldiers, killers on command, and beforehand, before they went A.W.O.L. they would have killed women, children, citizens, rebels; _anyone_ if ordered to. Now they are waking up, starting to make their own decisions, prompted by the blond kid who _saved them from being crushed to death_, on the off-chance that they would help him. Greed has his own rules, like not fighting women or children, and the Ling guy inside him is apparently big on the idea of not killing anyone unless it is absolutely possible. And then there is Ed, who abhorrers killing anything, even if it's only alive in the loosest sense of the word. Maybe it's because she's got a brother that's a suit of armour, that doesn't breathe, sleep or eat.

Then again, maybe it's because she can kill with a clap of her hands (and isn't that _terrifying_? Other alchemists need to draw a circle, a specific array, but not Ed. Her hands touch, and you're gone.)

But they're going to have to work on her, using scientific and emotional arguments. They are criminals, people (barely people, really; half a girl, two animal experiments and a homunculus with identity issues) on the run, two with shoot-to-kill and the others with retrieve-with-as-few-injuries-as-possible warrants on their heads. They can't go back, not ever, and they're prepared to fight for it- and if killing is their only option, they need to be able to do it.

Darius looks at Ed, and then at Greed and Heinkel. They nod. It's a door that you can only walk through once, this loss of innocence, but Ed needs to walk past the threshold. She's military. She'll handle it. She has to.

* * *

**A.N:** Because even killing has rules attached to it, and sometimes leaving people alive really isn't merciful.

I am at camp for a week, so this'll be the last one for a while [D:], but hopefully you enjoyed it, even though it's pretty depressing.

But yay, because we are one-twentieth of the way through these! Yeah, I know you're impressed.

Any requests for characters, mini-plot lines; as well as any requests for AUs, fusions and cross-overs are taken and much appreciated.  
{And damn, if Roy isn't really hard to do, because given the situation I'm struggling to make it funny... Dx Oh well, I'll put him in another one in a different situation and that'll hopefully make you rofl, 'k?}

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Shinigami Hollow, **__**Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my day**.}_


	6. Breathless

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**6. Breathless**

Most of the time, it feels like they haven't stopped moving since they left the broken shack that they all met up at. They've been running, for days, weeks, months; no-one really knows the exact date- they haven't visited a town in a while; and it might be crazy but they're actually having fun running for their lives.

Ed hasn't felt so carefree since forever, and sometimes she can't help but forget that she has a life (sometimes she wishes it abandoned her like her masculinity), that she has family (_Al, Winry, Granny, Mustang, Teacher- how are they going to react?_), and sometimes that she has automail (sparing with people that are so much _stronger_ than humans, like her). She runs from her past, as she always has done, running from her search, her desperate need to fix the broken people she collects, sprinting to snatch a glimpse at her future beyond getting bodies back, sacrificing and saving everyone. She runs with her group, a motley crew of half people, and hopes that it'll never stop.

Heinkel and Darius are running for their lives. They're with people just as, if not more, fucked up than they are- monsters that alchemy created- all running from those that would hunt them. They can't help but think that they are in a 'pack' or a 'pride' or, fuck, even a family. They are the perfect hunters, human understanding and animal instinct combined with military fitness. So they run with the pair that are giving their life a meaning, a purpose; and prepare to charge the predators in their wake. There is no past, there is no future: there is only the hunt and the running.

Greed runs too, away from the family of immortals that all hate each other but want the same thing, away from the temptation to slither back to his father, away from the memories that he regained but doesn't want. Ling runs because he runs, and they're running for a future where they gain what they both want so desperately (and neither speak about the shared thought that, _even just having __**this**__ would be alright for eternity_, because it feels like a betrayal).

They run, breathless from laughter at the tricks they pull off, how the military can't track for shit, how citizens are blind as bats, and all hope that the running will never end.

[STOP]

* * *

**A.N: **Happy angst? Idek.

But I am back from camp and I bring drabbles, so dance in happiness, for Team Greed is back and this fic still lives!

Any requests for characters, mini-plot lines, hell, even ships; as well as any requests for AUs, fusions and cross-overs are taken and much appreciated.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my day**.}_


	7. Pain

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**7. Pain**

Darius is shot in the knee by the guards at the town they were currently raiding. It's not deliberate, this time they are in disguises Ed alchemised for them. Heinkel is the rich merchant father, Greed is his suave son, and Ed is Greed's fiancé. He is their body guard and butler, making sure none of the (empty) luggage is stolen. He has food, medicine and material stashed inside, now the group is done stealing, but the sentries don't notice. They do, however, notice how similar Darius looks to the poster of a wanted man now they have to look at him up close, and prepare to shoot him in the head.

And that's when a curved steel blade cuts off the butt of their guns, a clawed hand lifts him over one shoulder, and a black and red figure stands to shield them from the others firing at them. Ed claps, and the walls turn against them, fists forming and knocking them out. She feels sick at what she has to do, but she cuts out the two men's tongues that had actually seen them, so that they cannot make a report. They scratch and try to scream, and blood gurgles at their mouths, but she's already running.

When they make it a safe distance away, they all fall down in the familiar way. But it's no time to sit down and rest, because Darius is still bleeding, and the medical supplies were mostly painkillers and bandages, not sewing needles and thread. Heinkel applies pressure to the wound, letting his feline tongue lick it so at least blood doesn't get over the nice clothes he's wearing. It's entirely platonic and mostly animalistic, and it's a testament to the screwed-up-ness of them that no-one comments. Ed is already over with them, looking at the wound and judging how much she needs to fix it.

"OK, this is gonna feel like crap, but it'll heal in a matter of seconds."  
"You'd better be using my life force, Blondie, since **I'm **the one that has to heal, OK?"

She'd pulled that stunt a few times now, using _her _life force for them, and healed herself quite a bit- more than necessary actually. But hey, whatever. They're not her keepers (even if they want to be).

She claps, and there is a blur and a hiss of pain, and then he's healed.

"Ready?" asks Greed, not unkindly, but impatiently.

They nod, and leave, trailing blood behind them and hoping for a safe place next time.

Like that's going to happen.

* * *

**A.N: **And we have action! Aren't you ~impressed~? xD

Also, that funny Roy & Ed drabble I promised? I'm working on it. It's not _my_ fault that Roy's an arrogant angst-muffin that's really stubborn and wants to be all confused and pissed off because it's easier than being sad. Promise, the next one I write (No:18), will be a silly meeting between Roy and Ed and Ed'll take the piss out of him. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick pins and needles in my eyes.

3 more before we are 1/10th of the way through and I can slow down a little!

Any requests for characters, mini-plot lines, hell, even ships; as well as any requests for AUs, fusions and cross-overs are taken and much appreciated.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my day [honestly, it's awesome that you all still like it and choose to tell me your thoughts! Cookies for all of you!]**}_


	8. Test

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**8. Test**

_This is it_, Greed thinks to himself, _the perfect chance. _He can kill Sloth and then take on Father, and become ruler of Amestris. He's moving before he really realises it, running towards Central with Ling in his mind, demanding to know where they're going and why the others weren't with them. Greed goes off on a spiel about how they'd slow him down, and how they don't need to be there; but truth be told he's already trying to distance himself from them. Ed had seen Al, and Hohenheim (-and wasn't it ironic that her Father was the twin of his? Maybe the universe was trying to tell him something.)- and she'd stayed behind to talk to them. (He tries hard not to think '_left him_', because **he **was the one who did the leaving.)

Darius and Heinkel are-_were_ mostly there because of Ed, though he thinks that maybe they'll come after him at some point (not for a while though, he** is** realistic). He thinks (knows) that Ling would've stayed as well, if he could. He has those mad ninja servants that called him "young lord" and did crazy awesome explosions and combat (Greed is always glad that he's got _Ling_ at least, and that Ling literally **can't** leave him).

He hears the pounding of feet behind him, and then there is a blonde girl in a red coat and leather trousers, with two animal-faced muscle men behind her.

"Fuck, Greed. Would it kill you to wait up for us? Or even to tell us that you're leaving, damn it?"  
"What the kid said."  
"Yeah, you're lucky we like you."  
"So what's the plan, o' fearless leader?" grins Ed, and damn, it's like the hole in his chest is almost filled.

"We're going to kill Sloth, overpower Father and take his throne, without killing Amestris or sacrificing you," Greed summarises, before starting to walk onwards, not waiting for them. He can overcome the lump in his throat (_stupid_ fucking _human emotions_), as long as he isn't facing them, and he doesn't want to break down before them.

"Well, that works for me," Darius shrugs, moving after Greed and Heinkel follows, somewhere in his mind cursing loyalty to the Pride.

Ed looks back, at where her Father and her Brother are chatting, both managing to ignore the gender change for the moment.  
_They have their own plans. They don't need me_. _And__** I**__ don't need them_.  
"Good luck, and see you later", she whispers, before turning to catch up with the group she'd stuck with since being branded a traitor.

She'd cast her lot in with Greed and Ling and Heinkel and Darius. Broken people had to stick together after all, and it was in her personal moral code to never abandon family.

* * *

**A.N:** Yay, they're a team! This _totally_ should've happened [/isnotbiasedatall]

So, I've got two more to do, and then we're ONE TENTH of the way through! Isn't that exciting?! :D Expect two updates tomorrow, and then a bit of a rest from me. Getting these up is tiring...

You'll be glad to know that I've done the Mustang one! It's sorta, kinda funny. At least, I hope it is. My sense of humour is somewhat warped. *shrug*

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - reviewers help me keep my inspiration going, as well as my motivation. Everyone says that, but no-one really **_******_understands__ how_ much_ they really mean, until you start getting them! Keep going, and this fic keeps going!_****}**


	9. Drink

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**9. Drink**

Alcohol is an accepted part of their little routine. Heinkel has his brandy, straight from the hipflask he keeps in one of the pockets of his coat. He sips it when Darius is being difficult and over-compensating (which, although he loves the guy like a brother, he can admit happens far too often); when Greed is being obstinate and particularly irritating about his past -and how often does this happen? That's right, too damn often, in his opinion-; or when Ed is being Ed. Really, she should just take all her crazy-ass alchemy, and put it somewhere (maybe then he'd get somewhere in his self-defence-without-relying-on-alchemy-is-really-serious lectures) and stop all her 'life is important!' speeches when they're trying to teach her to survive (how to kill, how to maim, how to get away -it's in her own interests after all).

Greed drinks whatever he can get hold of. He's not sure whether he does it to remember (_a little pub in the bad side of Dublith called Devil's Nest_) or to forget (_I killed them, I lost them, they were stolen, I forgot them, I remember them, I've replaced them, _stop, rewind, replay). He's the one that visits the seediest bars, goes to hookers and bullshits his way into getting drugs. He doesn't do it that often (and everyone's thankful of that - a drunk, emotional, hung-over, high, off-his-face homunculus, while funny, is really rather dangerous).

Unfortunately for Greed; due to his head-mate going off and getting pissed, Ling is often able to retake his body. It works for him, allowing him to take control of their body and fight off Greed's hangover (it's _Greed_ that went out to gutter crawl, not _Ling_, so it's Greed that gets most of the effects, luckily.) , and conversing with the little gang of people they've got, plaiting Ed's hair and swapping stories, going into debate about politics with Heinkel, and learning about culture from Darius (he's a secret geek, and Ling finds it far too amusing). But Ling also has to deal with Greed's memories and rants and experiences, and while he can say that he's a typical teenage boy, he really, really didn't need to partake in such things (even if secretly he _wants_ to, and has concubines to help back in Xing, whom he misses from time to time).

Ed and Darius play poker and nursemaid, never drinking themselves, letting the others do the drinking for them. Someone's got to look after them, after all.

* * *

**A.N:** I can't think of anything to say after this one, apart from LING! 8D I haven't had much oppurtunity to write more than a line or so for him, so this is awesome.

Back to school today, so I'll do one more this evening, and then you'll have ten and I'll have twenty and I can go on and write a birthday ORIGINAL FIC for my friend, involving ninja pirates and idiots and alcohol.

No, I don't get it either.

Any requests for characters, mini-plot lines, hell, even ships; as well as any requests for AUs, fusions and cross-overs are taken and much appreciated.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**{Thanks to **__**Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they all make my**_ **_day!_****  
**Also, I do my best to reply to your reviews~ do they send? Because I need to see whether there's a problem with my computer/account if they don't D:******  
**}


	10. Anger

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**10. Anger**

"Will you stop throwing things at me damn it?!" Ed screeches and they all take a moment to… _admire_ the high pitch and absolutely don't rub at their ears in pain (animal senses have their downsides).

"Not", says Heinkel, the leader of today's session, "Until you can shoot the targets whilst dodging our larger missiles". They had planned to start simple, but they were surprised when Ed was revealed to be able to do a large amount of combat. Hand to hand, knife throwing, all kinds of spears and swords; as well as explosives. They'd had to teach her the nastier holds and throws, and where to stick knives if you wanted to keep someone alive but in pain, or the places where they'd bleed to death fastest. Greed had been an unwilling volunteer, but he had been a good practise dummy for Ed, and it had helped her face reality somewhat. It was hard to see her lose her innocence, even harder to deliberately manipulate her into doing so. But this is what they need to do to survive, because Ed's got their backs, and they've got hers, and they're nearing the sort of bond where they'd kill for each other.

Ed sighs loudly, bringing them back to the present. Greed seems to be having a spirited argument with full-on facial expressions with the over-excitable puppy that lives in his head (they'd met the prince a few times now and were quite friendly with the kid), and Darius is preparing to throw the next few knives at her.

"Don't be an idiot, kid." Darius grunts. "Soon I'll be firing bullets at you while you do this, and then you'll have a gun to take round all the time."

"Oh, _yay_. I **do** know how to use a gun pretty well-"

Heinkel interrupts. "-No, you know the countryside way of using a gun. You can use old rifles, clean them and fix them and split them in less than a minute. You can use a pistol, but not as well as you should, especially if you were military, and you're not good under fire. Now treat this as you would treat any _other_ new thing to learn about, and take your focus off of killing a person, but on neutralising a target. Go."

Ed starts to shoot and dodge, seething at the beginning due to all the bruises and blood on her; but she's laughing in the end, her trousers ripped, her face muddy, but she's smiling and alive (and that's the way they all want to keep her).

* * *

**A.N: **I'm only putting this up because I promised it. I'm tooooo lazy to write number 20 (my muse has gone to sleep, complaining of too much work), and to top it all off I'm back to school. D:

However, A*-B all round over all GCSE results, is great. C:

I need to do a Pride one and a Havoc one, so they're going to be coming up.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_


	11. Dreams

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**11. Dreams**

Greed is sitting by their smokeless fire, red eyes searching for threats. Ling is hovering just beneath him, using his dragon-pulse feeling ability to go with the homunculus' advanced senses (they're _perfect_ humans, after all- and perfection and enhancement is nearly the same thing).

'_Behind us, there's something.'_ Ling says, and Greed can hear soft footsteps. He almost prepares himself for an ambush, but realises that the odd noise is a dainty foot stepping down, coupled with a metal foot clanking, but still going as quietly as possible.

"S'up, Kitten? Why're you out of bed?"

The nickname of kitten was the latest substitute for kid, since Greed decided that 'kid' was un-feminine and utterly un-embarrassing and un-funny for anyone listening. So, since Ed is small and adorable and bite-y and has Lion-man running around like a surrogate parent, he calls her Kitten. She sometimes blushes when she hears it, sometimes takes it as a 'short' dig, sometimes sticks her tongue out; but mostly doesn't do anything. ("_It's more personal than 'kid'_" she replies, when he asks her out of curiosity why she'd stopped chasing him up trees with her hand-knife every time he calls her it. "_**And**__ there's no way you're gonna stop, is there?_" Now, it's all he calls her in public.)

She sighs, sitting down on the log next to him and gazing into the fire. "Dreams."  
"Dreams?" He quirks an eyebrow, then scowls internally at Ling. '_Keep looking out for threats, you can look over this later, brat._'  
She snorts. "Nightmares."  
"Wanna talk about 'em?" He offers, knowing full well that she won't take him up on it. No-one really likes to talk about dreams and shit, they're too personal.

"Not really. It's just the normal ones, with Truth and Mum and Al and Nina." (She's lying, though Greed doesn't notice. It features people killing Greed until he dies, Ling going with him, the fight in Gluttony's stomach, Heinkel and Darius turning like Nina, and Al forsaking her because of the gender change.)

Greed sees flickers of Ling's memory of when she opened the gate, with the eye, and the feeling of being disassembled and reassembled. '_That was horrible enough. I wonder what she saw though, she was in there longer. And she's been there more than once.'_ Ling says, before quickly forcing his control over limbs and hugging Ed close.

She snuggles into his side, and even when Ling slides away, Greed stays.

* * *

**A.N: **Awww! Aren't they just the _sweetest_?!

Sorry that it's been so long, but it's _push push push_ at school, and I've only just had a spare half-hour to get number twenty and twenty-one finished.

No requests this time, I'm just going to go through the five main ones for the next few drabbles, 'kay?

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks to Hyper V, Fluehatraya, Mini Hayden and Silence-That-Kills-Me for reviewing, and sorry I haven't replied.**_

_** I love you all in a wierd platonic non creepy way and I hope you forgive me for being late updating and not replying to you.**_

_**C:]**_


	12. Puzzle

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**12. Puzzle**

"DAMN!" yells Darius, still trying to push his way out of the cage that surrounded him. "What sort of _bitch_ uses a lock like that one?"

With his free hand, he gestures towards the box that is the source of their worries. Instead of a normal tumbler-pin system, or even a combination lock, it's a puzzle-based one that changes every hour. A new craze in Amestris, only the rich and scholarly have it as a security feature, and it is a secondary measure to protect the most valuable items from thieves. It's easy to pick a lock and get through alarm systems, but puzzles take time and brains.

"Evidently, a paranoid old bird with some really, really expensive stuff." Greed deadpans, while seeing if his ultimate shield did any damage to the bars surrounding the rest of his team. It breaks one, but an electrical charge pulses between each, rendering a death trap. "Jeeze. How much money can one lady _have_?"

"If she's spent so much on this security system and still has money left over, she's probably very, very, very rich. Close to Royalty, I'd expect." Heinkel says matter-of-factly. "Hey, Darius, what family would have become royals if we weren't under military rule?"

"Umm, the Havingtons, I guess." Darius says, after a minute. "They're the closest to the main branch of the royals, which the previous Fuhrer slaughtered so that there was no contest for his power."

"Who knew that _you_ were such a culture geek?" Greed says, teasing the large chimera. At the same time, he's calculating how best to put the information to use, as the man could probably state the richest people, the kind with surplus wealth not to know that it's gone. Also, the blush on the man's cheeks is too funny to pass up on.

"Oh, for the love of…" Ed's voice trails off, after looking at the way Heinkel's going about trying to solve the box. "Give it here." The tone brokers no argument, and Heinkel looks at her curiously.

"No offence, Kitten, but do you really think if _Heinkel_ couldn't solve it, _you _can?" Greed says. Darius is beginning to think his job is to stand there and insult people.

Ed snorts. "Hey, I'm classed as a genius and a prodigy." She twists and types and fiddles for a few seconds, before the tray slides open and the pulsing stops. She looks up at them smugly, all the precious things inside placed in her alchemised satchel.

"Why didn't you do that _earlier_?" Darius demands. His animal instincts were protesting about being enclosed very, very loudly. It was making him desperate.

Ed shrugged. "Wondering if any of you were as smart as me, I guess." A self-assured smirk appears on her face.

"My arrogant little kitty," Greed grins, ruffling her hair, before commanding them to get the hell out of dodge before the old biddy comes back.

* * *

**A.N: **Aww, Darius is a culture geek in secret! :D See, don't judge by appearances!

This is an apology for having left 'run' for a while. I need to keep updating so I don't lose motivation and get writers block, as is my norm.

Thank you all for reading, and I'm so glad you liked the Greed!Ling/Ed shipping stuff that seems to slip through. ~3

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Moonlit Water Sunny River, Fluehatraya, Hyper V and Mini Hayden for reviewing - they should get like, medals or something.]**_


	13. Discrepant

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**13. Discrepant**

Al's not quite sure of what to make of his _sister_ (and if that isn't the weirdest thing that's ever come out of his not-really-there mouth, he doesn't know what is) - she's so much like _Ed_ but.. not-quite the Ed he knows; as if he's accidentally read a few pages ahead in a book and while he can _understand_ some of it, he simply can't grasp all of it.

They've both changed in the months not spent together (obviously, since Ed's a _girl_!), and neither is quite sure what to make of the other, especially not now he's just managed to accidently get possessed by Pride.

**This** Ed will willingly start affectionate physical contact with another person. **This** Ed is willing to obey orders. **This** Ed will kill, maim and injure with the intent to cause death. **This** Ed will use alchemy in any way, shape or form. **This** Ed will use philosopher's stones. **This** Ed laughs and jokes with people that _he, **Alphonse Elric** his-her brother_, doesn't understand. **This** Ed is female, and will wear dresses and feminine… articles. These are the parts he cannot comprehend, and he cannot understand the _hows_ that these came about, without hearing exactly from his bro-**sister** what happened to influence it so that he- she is incomprehensible to him.

But, some things remain the same.

**This** Ed will do anything for the people she feels are worthy. **This** Ed will drop everything to help the people she is close to. **This** Ed wants more than anything to get her brother's body back and will stop at nothing to achieve it. **This** Ed is a prodigy and shows off to everyone. **This** Ed has a short temper, and hates snide remarks about her height. **This** Ed wants to punch Colonel Mustang's face in. **This** Ed is scared of Teacher. **This** Ed wants to save the country. **This** Ed is missing an arm and a leg, and has steel automail grafted on. **This** is the _'Brother'_, the Ed that Al knows, respects, and loves more than anything else.

But he knows that he'll learn to love his Sister, because she is Ed, and Ed is Al's most precious person.

He would smile if he had lips, thinking of how the other people will react to Ed's 'spontaneous' change of gender. He tilts his armour, and lays a metallic hand on Ed's shoulder. She leans back into the touch, resting her head on his cool steel chest, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, that he could get used to this.

* * *

**A.N: **Yay, Alphonse fluff!

Also, Doctor Who tonight! :D How good was it? 8D

I am not taking requests for drabbles at this time. D: Sorry.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Fluehatraya, Hyper V, FullMetalMiniSkirt, Seri3991 and Mini Hayden for reviewing- and OMGs we're at 43 reviews! I lessthanthree you ALL!]**_


	14. Holiday

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**14. Holiday**

_trials by fire, setting fire  
it's not a way that's meant for me_

_just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws, yeah_

_Holiday- Green Day_

* * *

"Fuck, Mustang" chokes a voice as Roy steps further into the room. "Could you, you know, for once, not blow fire everywhere? You could've killed us!"  
"Well, not unless he did it more than once," the _Xingese Prince_ (why was he here? Roy had thought he was dead when he'd failed to regroup with them) says, shielding Ed from view. "But the point still stands."

A man with the face of a lion glares, before putting a paw to his head. "A bit of help would be great, thanks. We need Greed and the ninjas do go and stop the homunculus that according to Lan Fan just appeared upstairs with the Brigs soldiers, ands stop the central soldiers coming this way. And with _those two_"- he looks pointedly at the figure in the red coat that Roy thinks is Ed, and the Prince now named _Greed_ (is he a homunculus too? Is that why he talked about dying more than once?) before continuing- "making a stupid contest out of this, we've been making pretty slow progress. Especially since Darius joined in." The hulking mass of gorilla next to him has the grace to look sheepish.

"Guess this is bye for now, Kitten," the Prince says, kissing the golden haired figure on the head -what? Ed's not gay, is he? So why…?- and motioning to the ninjas and bounding out of the doors with a cheery wave. "You're a dick." Ed says, but there's a fondness there, unlike when he calls him a 'Bastard' with no malice, but no cheerfulness there (he supposes he's not entitled to it, but it still is painful).

Fullmetal turns, and glares at him. "What're you waiting for Mustang? Are you gonna help or what?" Roy glares back, but obediently snaps, eradicating all traces off the mannequins.

"That's pretty useful." The gorilla man grunts –Darius?- and turns to Ed. "Why didn't you 'boom' them or something?"

Ed shrugs. "Dunno. Didn't feel like it, I guess. It was more fun to spear them anyhow, and Greed and I were having a contest about it, and **I **was winning." He sticks his tongue out, as if to say 'so there'. Darius laughs and claps him on the back. "That's good enough, I 'spose. D'ya think that next battle, you could use your alchemy again?"

The lion man nods. "There's no Greed to save you this time, so you're going to have to clap and hope that that'll work for you again."

Ed nods. "Let's go."

And as the trio turn, he sees that under Ed's coat he's wearing tightfitting leather (as per usual). And that Ed has apparently turned into either a girl or a transvestite, because he's pretty sure he just saw rather large boobs for a teenage girl, especially if the last time you saw her he was male. If he survived this, Roy would demand, as CO, to know exactly what Fullmetal was doing during his little… holiday on the run. And he would tell him.

* * *

**A.N:**

Right, well, this makes sense because it is all _AU, _so at this point Scar's group is with Al, Hoho and co. This is so we can have all of team Greed in one place.  
Yeah, poor Roy doesn't know if Ed's really a girl, or just a disguise.

Roy is so _hard_. I mean, he's awesome, and I love him, but... really, really hard. D: Also, shameless manipulation of prompt to fit Roy in because he was popular and I wanted this one written. C:

I am not taking requests for drabbles at this time. D: Sorry.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Fluehatraya, Hyper V, and Mini Hayden for reviewing- you are all far too nice to me! **_

_And, since there's 46 reviews, can we get it to fify, right before we hit 3/20ths of the way through? C;**]**_


	15. Mirror

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**15. Mirror**

Ed checks her hand one last time, pretending to be anxious, before she looks up with large gold eyes at the gathered group. "All in." The others at the poker table nod their assent, or bow out with grace. Greed's gang are earning money at one of the seedier bars in the area. Heinkel is deeply involved in a drinking contest, while Darius is hustling pool. They seem to be enjoying themselves, particularly Heinkel, who is leading his supporters in one of the rudest versions of the Amestris national anthem she'd ever heard, as ridiculously out of tune as it may be. Greed is drinking tequila shots and 'watching over everybody'. Bullshit. He's just a lazy bastard.

As the rest turn over their cards, she lets loose a predatory grin. Coupled with the dark crimson pout and smoky eyes that she'd had to slather on her face to fit in, it made her look particularly malevolent, like an evil queen from a children's story (there's certain irony in this, as she's supposed to be a hero- _heroine_; a good guy. Not an anti-hero, not a _reluctant _hero, but then again, it **is** what he had been for most of his life prior to this.) The person next to her has a full house. Her blood red nails turn the cards that had been clutched tightly to her chest, and she lays down four aces.

"Four of a kind, Aurelia wins." The men have a good natured groan, but they hand over the money anyway. She counts it out with a smile. There is more than enough for them to live on- even enough to splash on a fancy hotel for days. One approaches her, grabbing her metallic arm that is hidden by the black gloves that match the colour of her dress. "Excuse me, Aurelia, but-"

"She's not interested." Ed turns, and there is Greed, in his traditional get up. She hates how _she_ has to dress up all pretty, but the _men_ don't have to. "Are you, Kitten?" She sighs and shakes her head, a hair falling out of her elegant bun. Greed takes this as a sign for him to continue. "She's **mine**. None of you plebeians could ever be worthy for a girl like her." And with that, he swirls her off into the smoke to dance, while she giggles at his antics and treads on his toes whenever his hands wander too far.

Darius, now he's finished and is much richer than he was, turns to Heinkel and points to a large mirror on the wall. "They look like they're having fun."  
The two figures, swirling and whirling in the reflection, seem to be blind to anything and everybody else.  
Heinkel grins and hiccups. "Definitely. Hey, want to start betting on the... _possibilities _of this match?"  
Darius, drunk with his success and full to the brim with good spirits, raises the glass nearest to him in a toast, "To Heinkel and his brilliant ideas, to possibilities and to _betting_!"  
Heinkel clinks his glass and they start squabbling about odds, while in the mirror two figures dance on through the night.

* * *

**A.N: Milestone time: we are 3/20ths of the way through, and I am 1/4 of the way through. YEAH! :D**

Yay, PUBS. This is likely where team Greed spent most of their time, tbh.

Also Ed/Greed shipping moments. Not even sorry. I need happiness after that Doctor Who episode. This is one of them. C;

Oh, and Ed's called Aurelia because it's _Olde English_ for golden. And it sounds pretty. It's not going to appear more though, don't worry.

I am not taking requests for drabbles at this time. D: Sorry.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Fluehatraya, EdwardElric3 (unsigned), Hyper V, and Mini Hayden for reviewing- you are all far too nice to me!**_

_49- so close. Com'mon you guys! Fifty? Please? C:**]**_


	16. Seeking Peace

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**16. Seeking Peace**

They are lying in a field of grass, dewy against their backs, gazing wistfully at the stars. A radio one of them has borrowed from one of the towns they have visited is playing a mournful blues, with far too much tinkling piano and a crooning husky singer. Darius is flicking though Ed's alchemy notebook, pages which she has decrypted for him teaching him about how and why alchemy works, but giving him no room for practical application (Heinkel is very, very glad about this. One alchemy maniac is _enough_, thank you very much.) Heinkel sketches the pathway of the stars, the shape of the hills and the turning of the seasons. It's a little talent that grants them honest money as well as giving him a little, yet plausible, disguise.

Greed and Ed are talking. They, as the group goes, are very close to each other. It could be because of the Xingese Prince in his head, it could be because they've met before (an age ago, in a different body), it could be because Ed joined him willingly and _first_, or it could just be because they enjoy each other's company (like he does Darius).

"Do you think- Do you think Al would forgive me?" Ed asks, and Greed looks at her carefully. They'd been talking through the merits of Philosopher's stones and how they actually work. He'd had to correct her on some points, like how the using of souls doesn't just make them _vanish_, about how it frees them to wherever they are supposed to go (_"The Gate?"_ _"Sure, if that's what you want to think, Kitten."_), how grateful they are to be used and freed from an eternity of despair (the thanks of the souls that leave him hurt quite a bit, but he doesn't begrudge them it).

"If you use a Philosopher's stone to get his body back?" Ed nods, and Greed leans back thoughtfully.  
"Well, he is your brother. He'll probably forgive you for _anything_." A raise of her eyebrows is the only response he gets. "But, if you explain to him about how they work, he'll understand. He's a do-gooder alchemist just like you, and if freeing them helps you help him, he can't help but understand."

Heinkel and Darius turn around from their respective past-times, not even bothering to pretend that they weren't listening in. "And if he doesn't understand," Greed says, looking inter her eyes. "We're here, Kitten. And we ain't never gonna let you go."

Ed finally smiles, and they all fall asleep leaning against each other, with stars above them and jazz on the radio, and peace in their minds (for the moment).

* * *

**A.N:** Domestic-isity! Yeah! Little bit more fluff for you guys (again, with an angst-y undertone, because, let's face it; it's not FMA:B without an angst-y undertone)

That's my head-canon for the Philosopher's stones, because once used, the souls return to Truth, who is also the universe and God, who deals with the souls as it sees fit. Anyone else got any other ideas regarding this? I'd love to hear them! C:

I am not taking requests for drabbles at this time. D: Sorry.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Moonlit Water Sunny River, Hyper V, Mini Hayden and aeva elementia (who has caught up and reviewed **_******every single drabble- _that's dedication!__), who are all amazing people:_**_**  
**_

_**67** whole reviews? *faints* I am **amazed**- **you are all wonderful people**, I am so-so-I don't know, blessed (?)/ lucky to have you all. I'm so glad you all enjoy it and read it, and you are all amazing, and I wish I could get more drabbles out faster, but RL is so mother-ducking stupid and there are exams and essays and coursework and colleges to apply to and a-levels to choose, and **reading your reviews is the highlight of my day, and I am so glad that you like my silly little drabbles. ily all. ~ 3]**_


	17. Questioning

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**17. Questioning**

It's the day after the Promised Day. Amestris still stands, Father is gone, Al has his body back, and Ed is still female. After all the things Mustang's team have seen over the years, it is **that** that they have the most problems with. Ed is lounging on the window sill of Roy's room, having been kicked out of her brother's to eat, and is currently avoiding the nurses and reporters that cluck over her like fussing hens.

Hawkeye is the first one to speak. "How, Ed?" She looks at the girl in front of her, searching for the boy she had known since he was ten. The shit-eating smirk is right, as is the stance, flaunting the automail and being deliberately provoking. The sparkling eyes and the soft lips, however, are new and daunting.

"How _what_ Lieutenant? How did I get Al's body back? How did we save Greed? How did I fix my automail up? How did I avoid military police on the run? How do you make milkshake? How do you make glass out of sand? How are books printed? How-"

Riza fixes him- **her**, with a glare, practised on years of dangerous criminals, idiot recruits and Mustangs avoiding work. "You _know_ what I mean, Edward."

She flushes slightly, and folds in on herself. "A-an accident."

Roy snorts. "Another one, Fullmetal? Come to fix it again?" He has a sneer across his face, and Riza would slap him if she could reach, but Ed gets there first. She claps, and a spike presses from the head post of his bed into the back of his head. "I know a lot of mean tricks now, Colonel Bastard," she hisses. "Don't make me try them." Roy remembers seeing how she removed a room full of ex-Fuhrer candidates and shudders before apologising promptly.

"What are you going to do?" asks Furey softly. He's always had a bit of a soft spot for the Elrics, like they all have, and is coping with it better than Riza is, and **definitely **better than Roy is.

"Dunno." Ed says lazily, and sinks back against the window. "You lot hurry up and get better, OK?" She grins like a feral cat, and slinks towards the door. "When you're all better and aren't blind no more, I want'ta fight you guys- I gotta see how much I've improved fighting for my life." She kicks open the door, and vanishes with a loud "Laters!"; the door slamming behind her.

Furey looks after her. "Ed hasn't changed much, really, has she?"

Riza looks thoughtful. "Not in the ways that matter." Her new style of speaking, with slang-style words and dropped letters, gives Hawkeye clues about where exactly Ed's been travelling. She finds that she is not in the least bit pleased with this new manner, nor the knowledge that comes with it, and decides to train it out of her, the same way she trained Black Hayate, so she doesn't have to feel like a failure for not protecting him- her (she know's it's irrational, but then again, she'd always felt maternal toward the Elric brothers- _siblings_).

Roy snorts in a way filled with disgust and distaste, hating only being able to hear Ed's exit and not being able to see the expressions on his men's faces, hating not being able to guess what they are thinking about. He also regrets not being able to see Ed's new form (because really, little Fullmetal as a girl? It should be very, very funny, especially as when Fullmetal was male, he had been mistaken for a girl many a time.) He then remembers what she did to Envy for calling her little, and his amusement drains away.

He really, really hopes he can get used to the new Fullmetal, preferably before she kills him.

* * *

**A.N:** Tada- a drabble with the widely popular Mustang's crew! And more Mustang! :D

Hawkeye was requested a while back, I believe, so here she is in all her glory!

Ed here is adopting a slightly rougher accent, common in lower class areas. With all the hanging about in dreary pubs and dark alleys, I think all of Greed's gang would have adopted a few mannerisms here and there (Greed had his moment in the last one- did you spot it? C:)

Updated so fast because I'm in a ridiculously good mood after visiting London, trying Pocky for the first time, buying £29 worth of Anime and Manga, and eating too much takeaway. Also as a thanks for reaching **73** whole reviews, and at the rate we're going, we'll hit one-hundred some time soon :O It's crazy! 8D

I am not taking requests for drabbles at this time. D: Sorry.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!_

_ - Tom_

_**[Thanks go to Moonlit Water Sunny River, Hyper V, Mini Hayden, , FullMetalMiniSkirt and aeva elementia, the reviewers so wonderful they deserve a song - **however, I ain't gonna write one, I'm failing composition as it is! xD**]**__**  
**_


	18. Red

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**18. Red**

Roy Mustang is sitting in a bar across from Madame Christmas', nursing a pint of ale and cursing various things. He wears an eye patch now. They should've known that the Truth's toll was never easy to fix, even with a Philosopher's stone. Ed still lost her arm again, didn't she? Now he has one perfect eye, one blind eye, and a slight talent for clap alchemy. It's not to the extent Ed, Al or Izumi have- they can clap and activate any array that they can visualise, he can only do one or two- he hypothesises it's because it was not _his_ circle, and he didn't pay most of the toll for his knowledge; therefore so he can only use it for his signature alchemy and basic arrays, rendering it pretty damn useless (especially on rainy days, like today is).

There's a poker tournament going on. One of the winners, quitting whilst they are a head, saunters over to his table. A red cloak covers the face and body, only revealing the glimpse of elegant black gloves, a hint of an attractive body shape and a painted face, made up like she is one of the sex symbols in the magazines that are so popular with young men.

Without waiting for an invitation, she sits, a wine glass filled with a strange red liquid (not alcohol, he would smell it, but no berry from Amestris either.)

"Rhubarb and cranberry." She says, and gives a small smile.  
"Urgh?" Roy answers eloquently.  
"My drink. Rhubarb and cranberry juice. You looked interested." He can see the barest hint of an eyebrow move, and the smile on her face that's almost mocking, treating him like a child. "So why are _you, _an important military man, in a place as seedy as this?"

Roy doesn't know how she knows him, and at this point he's had too many to care, and answers the personal question: "In the process of coping. An injury. It could well set back my career and goals, and render me useless as a player."

The woman snorts delicately. "An eye patch? You have one good eye, sir. With all due respect, that's not the end of the world. You can easily teach yourself to cope. It will simply take time and effort. Simply put, are you a _man_ or are you an **idiot**?"

Roy gulps like a fish, before sighing and knocking back his drink. The red woman smiles, and gulps down her drink.

They sit in companionable silence for a few more drinks, before the cloaked woman starts making clever observations about politics and Amestris' history at him, with him thinking that he should really be writing this down, it could be useful in future speeches and games; before she gets up.

"Sorry, Mustang. Got to cut and run-they'll be missing me you know. Look after yourself, Bastard!" And with that, she turns and leaves, quicker than he would have expected someone in a dress like _that_ to be able to move.

He wants to ask who she is- and just how she knows him- but he catches sight of a golden haired woman in a red cloak meeting a young man with long dark hair and an umbrella outside the establishment and he just **knows **he's been set up to get out of his self-pitying wreck. (He suspects Hawkeye, and maybe Havoc or Armstrong).

"Alright, Edward," he chuckles, raising a glass in a toast, "I'll get up and walk."

(The "_for you"_ remains unspoken and unacknowledged.)

* * *

**A.N: **The last of the Mustang ones, this one prompted by people wanting Mustang hitting on Ed without knowing who she is. Well, he's not hitting on her, exactly, but he is finding her attrative- that counts, doesn't it?

Also, no idea whether rhubarb and cranberry is nice, but I guess Ed would drink it anyway, because s/he's got strange tastes in drinks (doesn't like milk, what a weirdo...)

80 reviews, 18 chapters? Fuck. That's crazy! C: But awesome crazy! :D :D :D

_Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed!_

_- Tom_

_**[Thanks go to , Fluehatraya** (you're back! C:)**, Hyper V, Seri3991**** and aeva elementia, the awesome people who actually enjoy this madness!]**_


	19. Happiness

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**19. Happiness**

"Are you happy, Ed?" Al asks, choking through sips of his water, clearly unused to breathing. His voice is lower than she thought it'd be and there is no metallic edge to it. She moves her head from where she is drawing circles on his arms, feeling the warmth of his skin against hers, and pulls his chin from her chest to look at him properly.

"Of course I'm happy Al!" Ed says loudly. "I have you back, you have _your body back_, all that we've worked for the past four years; plus: Amestris is still here, we're not dead, Dad wasn't a _complete _arsehole and we can finally leave the military! How could I _not _be happy?"

"That's not what I meant, Brother." Al answers, amused, but then he does his best to correct himself. "Are you happy, _Sister_?"

Ed looks down, and hugs Alphonse closer to her. She sighs. Being a girl isn't as bad as she'd thought it'd be, and she's used to it now. Uncomfortable clothes and additional items of clothing she's become used to, and it's not like she _can't_ wear male clothes if she wants to. A week per month is really uncomfortable, and makes her pissed off and aggressive (like that's new)- but it gives her the perfect excuse to commit any acts of violence she wishes _and_ get people to buy her chocolate. She's swapped girls swooning over her for boys checking her out, which is less annoying, even though it's still a bit weird. She'd never thought about sex or love and shit like that, never had the time, so it's not as if she knows it's supposed to be any different for her (or the _him_ that was). It's not that bad, and she's got used to it.

"Yeah, Al. I'm happy." She kisses his forehead, and holds him next to her. It's moments like this that she's glad she's female, because if she were male at this point, she'd get the mickey taken out of her for all eternity. As it is, no one bats and eyelid.

To be honest, this is amongst the very few times she's honestly been happy since her mother died. And she's looking forward to a lifetime of it.

* * *

**A.N: **A family drabble! C:

Content! Ed and Happy! Al because the gods know we all need more of that. C:

Nearly 1/5th of the way through, you guys. :D

_Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed!_

_- Tom_

_**[Thanks go to thenutyone, Fluehatraya** **, Hyper V, Seri3991, Catstar Hawthorn**** and aeva elementia for reviewing C:]**_


	20. Family

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**20. Family**

Selim Bradley was not the sort of boy that one would wish to upset. Pride the Arrogant was definitely not the sort of thing that a person would try to antagonise.

Unfortunately, that had never stopped his brother, Greed, in annoying him. He was constantly doing his best to get under the human skin he wore, taking the mickey about his youthful ("babyish") looks, tangling his shadowy appendages and saying how weak they must be if his shield could deflect them.

Despite this, Pride was thankful for his little brother, and read him tales of depravity and chaos and blood, and the inferiority of humans, and the superiority and love of Father; so that he could sleep at night. Lust, Gluttony and Sloth were firm believers, and Envy, whilst free-spirited, was controlled; Greed was the only loose cannon out of them all. Deep in Pride's mind, this earned him the closest thing to love a homunculus could stomach – hate. A deep, pulsing, pounding hate that spreads through the shadows and attacks the longer haired, younger figure of Greed's second (human) incarnation with strike upon strike.

The blond girl, who perhaps used to be Edward Elric, uses the carbon (the same carbon as his brother's shield), to keep herself from calm and try and free her own brother. Pride admires her somewhat, in the way that humans admire ants for being able to lift ten times their own weight. It has no bearing on his feeling of wanting to crush them, but he recognises their ability. Greed, however, has forgotten the stories he told when they were only a few decades old.

Humans break easily. _He snaps his shadows at Edward, and she falls backwards into the rough pasture, for Gluttony to finish off._

Chaos reigns. _Swirling spikes cut Heinkel; shadows shoot out and grab Darius, forcing him to the floor._

Shields cannot protect forever. _It is easy to see, even in this light, the tears that drip down Greed's carbon-covered face._

But there is something that Pride has forgotten. Family is the most important thing.

_With a desperate howl Greed runs towards Pride, and attacks him with such anger, Pride loses at least four hundred souls in a matter of minutes._

Greed had never won a practise fight, simply because he didn't want to learn tactics, there were other things that he wanted at that time that were more important.

But Greed wins this one, because he wants nothing more than to destroy the one who tried to destroy his family.

* * *

**A.N: **Remember that time I asked all you guys who you wanted to see appear?  
Well, Mini-Hayden wanted Pride, and this is for her!  
(I'm sorry if it sucked, feel free to hit me or disallow me from going to the super cool thing in May [butnotreallybecauseI'llcry])

Officially 1/5th of the way through!

And when we hit number 25, I should have a whole suprise one-shot for y'all! [Over 1,000 words and just got halfway through!) C: Have fun trying to figure out what it's about!

_Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed!_

_- Tom_

_**[Thanks go to , Fluehatraya** **, Hyper V, Catstar Hawthorn**** and aeva elementia for reviewing -have a drabble a few days early! :P]**_


	21. Running

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**21. Running**

Jean Havoc is mighty impressed with walking now. Admittedly, he has to use crutches, and can barely manage a few steps, but he used to be able to run for miles with no effort, and the pure skill that walking is, he is almost reverent to those who can. Automail therapy should last for three years, and he knows why. Having his legs back is brilliant, but they are foreign bodies to him, and don't respond as they should. They are heavy and leaden, and he can't even imagine what sort of horror it is to have them be made of metal.

So when he sees Ed, he sort of does an awkward walk-jump-skip with his crutches, trying to catch up with him. "Hey, Boss! Wait up!"

He almost stumbles when there is a bounce and ripple of flesh. A grinning face meets his flustered one, and a girl runs up and hugs him. "Havoc! Nice legs!"

He blushes, though he's not really sure why. It's Ed, just… more expressive, and curvy, and stunning. He curses his luck, remembering that this is the kid he's known since the short-ass wandered into the colonel's office with a suit of armour behind him.

"Umm… Thanks? I think?" Ed snorts, and they keep pace with each other. After some meaningless chatter, Ed turns to him. "So, what was it you wanted, Havoc?"

Havoc leans against the wall, lights a cigarette and scratches the back of his head. "Can- can you tell me how you manage to run, damn, even_ walk_ with an automail leg?"

She doesn't ask him to explain, nor look at him in sympathy. "You do it because you have to. It becomes your leg, a part of your body. One you have absolute control over. You just have to find the right way of connecting to it."

She suddenly flashes a million-watt smile at him. "Try and run before you can walk! It becomes so much easier!" And with that, she swirls away, a slight clank to her walk but an impressively smooth gait.

Havoc smiles at the carefree look on Edward Elric's face, reminisces about the bounce and then berates himself, before dropping his crutches and charging at an impressive speed (for an ex-cripple, he means).

It feels like he is flying, and later that night in his hospital bed, he thanks the girl that showed him the way.

[If she had been male, he could never have asked for, let alone followed the advice. It would have been far to damaging for his self esteem]

* * *

**A.N:** Sorry I'm so late guys! GCSEs, swimming camp, mocks and all that wonderful jazz have culminated in screwing up my updating schedule. Dx

Before you say ~boo Havoc is a sexist arse~, remember that some people respond better to gently voiced advice from the other sex in order not to get filled with Testosterone and go all alpha wolf "**i'm right u suck, small balls**".

THIS IS MY LOGIC.

Also, Havoc is awww worthy. C: Such a sweetie~

_Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoyed_

_-Tom_

[Thanks to: Catstar Hawthorn, , Hyper V, aeva elementia, Fluehatraya, Roy-Mustang's-Girl; for reviewing- all who are awesome]


	22. Flying

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**22. Flying**

Ling is one of those people, who, whilst knowing the full impact of his actions and all the possible ways it can go wrong, goes and does what he wants to do anyway; jumping into the fray without looking. He is full of endless and friendly optimism, with a wide, friendly grin that draws people in. It's what he's famous for in Xing- the "impulsive, emotional" one of the Emperor's sons.

Or, that's the way he tries to portray himself; and most of the time it works. In reality he is mostly pragmatic and slightly pessimistic, with a triple 'scoop' (an Amestrian word he particularly likes the sound of) of manipulative as the topping to his _delightful_ personality. [That doesn't actually stop him from being the most sentimental of the Emperor's sons though, desirous of family and friends.]

His personal connection to his guards acts as a testimony to this. According to the other princes (he refuses to acknowledge them as his brothers, they don't act like it, there is no bond between them) he acts shamefully and will never become Emperor, he is too much of an embarrassment. So, without really thinking about it, he came to Amestris to search out the means to beat them all. He's the one who wants the post most now, they've ensured that he desires it- that becoming emperor is now more necessary than air; and due to this _Greed_, he's not got the means to become the leader of an Empire.

Being tied to Greed is like… trying to stay still on a raft in a fast flowing river. The souls around him, hissing whispers of death, destruction, despair; do their best to grab him and pull him into the current. Instead, Ling focuses on Greed's thoughts, what _he's _seeing through their eyes like a life raft, so that he can remain separate from the mob of anger and despair. Greed is normally mildly exasperated, but Greed always acts fond towards him, and sometimes even lets him interact with the gang.

Ed is his favourite. She knows Lan Fan, she knows Fu, she's fought beside him, she's fought to save him, and she's his _very best friend_. Lan Fan is his soul sister, his family, his blood. Ed is a **friend**, his first; part of _'the family you choose'_ according to Amestrian sayings. She is someone who has a bond like family, theirs is a bond that is more relaxed, more free. She's exciting and fun, and a good story teller. She will paint pictures of her adventures, the people she has met, the people she works with and all the places she's been; she'll even tell him of her past, that she guards so carefully, before the automail, with Winry and Al in Risembool, when they lay by the dying embers of the fire, leaning against each other and getting strength from each others presence.

Heinkel and Darius are good conversationalists too. They debate politics and what Ling will do when he's Emperor, and he's promised them positions in his Royal Guard. But they're not Ed, not Lan Fan, not Greed; and he doesn't connect with them properly. But that doesn't matter, because they like each other anyway.

When they're all together, and they're fighting, he feels like he's done one of his impulsive reckless actions, but that instead of falling to the floor, crushed, as he used to and is always remembered for doing; he's flying with his family all around him. It's a good feeling.

[But not good enough for him to give up. The fate of fifty-thousand rides on him. And he has other _family_ to deal with.]

* * *

**A.N: **LIINGGGG! C: ~3 much luff

HELLO, I'm back! Did ya miss me? *dodges tomatoes and potatoes and pig muck and etc*

I had exams for the last two weeks, so I didn't update so I could spend more time revising for them. T_T;;

But it's all good- I got a B on Ancient Greek, and considering I used to be the worst at translation in the class, it's a great change! :D

**OVER 100 REVIEWS. **YOU ARE ALL _AMAZING WONDERFUL _PEOPLE. I will finish my run!verse 5 + 1 oneshot asap for you all. (I'll publish it with #25!)

_Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed  
_- _Tom_

_[THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL REVIEWERS THAT ARE: _Roy-Mustang's-Girl, Fluehatraya, Hyper V, CaptainPiika, aeva elementia _and _ !_]_


	23. Drowning

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**23. Drowning**

The simple fact of the matter is that Ed cannot swim. This shouldn't really have been news to the others, because they've heard her complaints of aching automail ports when it rains, seen her taking some of the fastest and efficient showers _ever_ (especially for a _girl_) and generally not going near water except from when she drinks. Ed is not afraid, per se, of water, but she is wary of it.

Automail is heavy and dense, like having a concrete brick attached to your feet. It would be a stupid idea to go any deeper than a **toe**. If she can lay down without her ears in the water, face above it so that she can breathe, she is happy. She's grateful that there are no water alchemists that can drown you, and hates herself for an over-active imagination when she thinks there are people (enemies) that could simply alchemise her showers and baths into water filled death traps. She never learned to swim, either, because it was a universally accepted truth that _no-one_ ever leaves the country town they grew up in, and Risembool was land-locked anyway.

So when Greed, looking for a laugh after a particularly stressful day on the run, decides to amuse himself by pushing her into the lake by their current campsite, he is not aware of the mistake he is making. All he's thinking about is how cute sopping wet kittens look in the pictures on birthday cards that are popular with little girls, and how nice Ed's eyes are when they're full of angry light.

But when she doesn't come up, spluttering and yelling, he realises. Cursing himself (with Ling agreeing and joining in, mostly in Xingese, as well as lending Greed the Dragon's Pulse ability so that he can find her), Greed dives in.

Ed is twisting, and turning, and her face is pale white. Her hair is floating out behind her, golden in the dappled light, and she almost looks like a corpse [_b__eautiful, broken, breathless_]_._ Greed snarls at his stupidity, and propels himself towards her, grabbing her roughly and pulling them both up to the surface.

Heinkel and Darius grab them and help them out, and Ed's arms are tight around Greed, not letting him go. She struggles to breathe and Greed is watching her as closely as possible, trying to figure out _what _to do. He's never had this problem before.

Heinkel- study, smart, sensible Heinkel- grabs their improvised medical kit, and Darius grabs the cloth they use as clothing and blankets and towels and they try and keep Ed alive. They seem rather apathetic about the whole thing, but the emotion in their eyes betray them as they fuss around Ed in a skilled fashion. It's not the first time they've experienced something like it

Ling regrets not learning Alkahestry because he could've helped them out, and Greed regrets not knowing everything about his possessions, holding onto Ed's hand tightly, feeling her fluttering pulse and forcing the thought of nearly losing her out of his mind.

It's a rough night for them all.

* * *

**A.N: **Well, ta-da! One that actually seems to follow the prompt! :D

And your X-mas prezzie one-shot thing is nearly ready! I just need to write the "+1" part and then it is _done_. :D So that should be up with #25.

I haven't actually written #33 for this yet (I like to keep myself 10 drabbles ahead, yeah?) but you can have this one anyway, because otherwise I think you'll actually kill me D:

_Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed  
_- _Tom_

[**Thanks to:**Roy-Mustang's-Girl, Fluehatraya, Hyper V, , and Fuhrer Mustang!]


	24. Bed

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**24. Bed**

Ed runs across the room and pounces, narrowly beating Darius there. She falls back into the softness, smiling as her fingers spread across silky sheets. There is a matching thump next to her, and strong arms push her slightly over to one side, skimming across the side of her breasts.

"Hey!" she yelps, turning over and meeting Greed's smirk with an angry glare of her own. He looks at her unapologetically and laughs in her face, waggling his fingers at her.

"Oh, come _on_, Kitten. There are four- no, five of us. There's not enough room for one bed each." He stretches, flopping himself down and bouncing slightly on the soft mattress. "And we can fit the three of us on here." Darius and Heinkel glare at them both, and Ling laughs inside Greed's hear.

"And what, illustrious leader, are we going to do for beds?" asks Heinkel, sarcasm biting, gesturing between himself and Darius. Darius himself doesn't say anything, looking between Greed and Ed with laughter in his eyes, thinking he understands what Greed is trying to do. Greed just shrugs.

"Whatever the hell you want. There are rooms other than this-"  
"-This is the only clean room with four walls and a roof, plus furnishings-"  
"-So go use one of them." Greed continues as though Heinkel hasn't spoken.

Heinkel curses inside his head, about why his instincts recognise _Greed_ as _Alpha_, as _Pack Leader_. It's not fair. Darius shakes his head lightly at his friend, before dragging them out to find the second-best room. He's just hoping that it'll have a roof and blankets that are not wet or torn. Greed, Ling and Ed really lucked out.

Once they're gone, Ed turns to Greed. "And we're sharing… why exactly? We _never_ share." It's an unwritten rule, just like how no-one mentions the past (before the accident), or how Heinkel only wears his glasses to make him look smart but no one calls him on it, or how Darius always gets to read books they acquire first, or how Ling only comes out around meal times, and so on. It's the same with this. Ed always gets a room or tent of her own. Male chivalry at its best, but Ed isn't complaining (any more, at least).

"It's winter," Greed smiles, and wraps and arm around her, "And you'll get all cold all by yourself." Ed turns and glares at him. "And Ling will get cold too, so it's only fair you warm each other this way." His smile suddenly becomes a smirk. "I could try and convince you that friction will keep you warm too?"

Ed snorts, a slight blush on her cheeks, and she lightly hits him with her automail. "Idiot. Just… don't be a bother, and it's your own fault if I hit you in my sleep."

"Deal" Greed says, and kisses her forehead. Ed leans back into his arms and they both settle down to sleep, Ling inside Greed's head echoing his contentment.

* * *

**A.N.: **I think this is my favourite chapter, not even kidding. (yay hints of christmas fic)

Anyway, bad news: I've been really sick this week, so last week's drabble and this weeks drabble haven't been written yet, and the last part of the one-shot isn't done yet either. I'm sorry. D:

But on the bright side- Christmas hols are coming up so I should be able to catch up with what I've been writing and maybe even get ahead (that'll be the day, eh?)

_Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed _

_-Tom_

[Thank you to: Hyper V, aeva elementia, , Fluehatraya, and Roy-Mustang's-Girl for reviewing


	25. Balloons

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**25. Balloon**

Ling, as it turns out, has never been to a parade. Oh, Xing does have them, of course they do, with dragon dancers and acrobats and alkahestry; but Ling could never go. It would only take one stray knife, and the emperor's heir would be gone; and unlike the other clans, the Yao's won't let that happen.

One of the more frivolous reasons he wanted to come to Amestris was their famous military parades, he explains to them one night. He wants to see marching bands, something his culture doesn't have, people holding banners, the gigantic 'floats' holding people that wave and smile and give children toys and balloon swords, and demonstrations of the Amestrian fighting styles.

Darius and Heinkel grunt something about them being underrated, remembering days when they had to march up and down and shout and look utterly perfect for the joy of their country, and complain about not getting paid enough. (It's easy to tell that if they had been chosen to be the ones able to give out little toys to the children by the road, they would be smiling in remembrance. Sentimental idiots.)

Ed remembers the parades from when she was a very little boy, when Al had only just been born and was staying with Granny Rockbell. The Elrics were visiting East city for a holiday and so his Mother could go shopping. He can remember being more impressed by the alchemists, with their arrays, flashing and creating figures, snapping and making pictures out of fire (though none were ever as good as his Dad).

When they find a flyer in one of the smaller towns about a parade going on in West, they decide to stay there for a while. _After all_, Ed says, _there's still a load of tournaments going on in their red light, and I can probably win most of 'em. There's rich people that Greed can steal from. There's people who'll hire Heinkel and Darius to do their grunt work. We can probably make enough to get into a few hotels next month._ They all agree to the plan and split, disguises on, and they don't get any trouble (never before have they been more grateful to have an Alchemist and a steady supply of cloth with them.)

And if Greed lets Ling take over for a day, and comes back to their rented accommodation stinking of candy floss and carrying a balloon sword like a small child, raving about all the _possibilities_ that having the Amestrian military on his side to become Emperor, no-one mentions it to the others, outside of their little gang, not even Lan Fan or Al.

(But they all smile when they see balloons.)

* * *

**A.N: **Happy Christmas you guys! C:

WE ARE NOW OFFICIALLY 1/4 OF THE WAY THROUGH THIS SERIES. 8D

Have a happy, if not exactly festive drabble. Urgh... I haven't actually written the drabbles I promised yet because I remained sick for a few days, but I'm all better now! But they will get written, cross my heart and hope to die, stick pins and needles in my eyes!

_Have a great Christmas, and I hope you all enjoyed!_

_-Tom_

__Thanks go to: ShikaTachidoriKitsuneHebiTak a, Fluehatraya, , Kezone (guest), Roy-Mustang's-Girl, and aeva elementia for being fabulous reviewers! They are all ~_wonderful~._


	26. Compressed

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**26. Compressed**

"Get off of me," grunts Darius, feeling the weight of three people on top of him. The room is dark and small, and he can't for the life of him figure out how he got there. The smells of people are faint, the musk of the damp seeping through the walls assaulting his delicate nose instead, and he glares at the black. The weight is lifted a bit, Heinkel moving to sit the other side from him, Greed leaning back towards the passage-way, or, at least what Darius _thinks was_ the passage-way. It collapsed behind them when they were running, courtesy of Ed, trying to hold them back the only way she knew how.

The only one that hasn't moved in the tight space is Ed.

"Shit." Heinkel's eyes dart about, trying to make out the shapes with his enhanced, animalistic vision instead of relying on smell and hearing and touch. He finds Ed, a skinny lump laying on the floor. He crawls over to her as carefully as possible, trying to find out if (_where_) she is injured. Wet, iron smell, flowing from her head. He's worried now, Ed doesn't heal like Greed, and even chimeras heal faster than normal humans- it's something to do with the alchemy he thinks, and berates himself for his thoughts going off on this tangent.

"Ed- Ed's hurt-" Heinkel says, his mind blank of his medical knowledge. He's been in plenty of situations with injured comrades, but this, _Edward_ is somehow worse than all incidents put together. The kid he's been travelling with, the kid that saved his life, the girl that opened his heart again, the girl that's the closest thing he has to a daughter- she's going to bleed to death in a cave of their own making.

"Heinkel! - Heinkel! -" Greed and Darius' voices are enough to bring him out of his hysteric worry for the moment. Darius sighs, and lifts himself up slightly, before ripping his shirt with heavy arms. "Here. For the bleeding."

Heinkel doesn't know how they know what's wrong with Ed, but he takes the makeshift bandages and wraps her as best he can without hurting her.

"She's going to be fine." Greed reassures him. "The Kitten's a fighter- she'll pull through."

No one mentions how they know that Greed is struggling to convince both himself and Ling of this.

They sit in the cold dark cave silently, watching over the still shape of the blond girl that had a special place in all of their hearts.

* * *

**A.N: **Welcome back to the angst and hurt-comfort that we all forgot about due to the fluff of the last drabble! :D

So, I'm halfway caught up in my writing, so that's going splendidly, and the lovely person I have enlisted to be my beta is going to send me the stuff so I can polish off the Christmas fic.

If you haven't already seen it, it's called "**partner in crime**" and all it is is blatant Greed/Ed shipping. It's set in this 'universe' that I've got going here and is supposedly funny, so check it out! :D

_Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!_

_- Tom_

_[_Celebration for all the reviewers: Hyper V, Fluehatraya (who also reviewed partner in crime!), and a guest that I largely suspect was Roy-Mustang's-Girl. Party for you guys!_]_


	27. Reinvigorated

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**27. Reinvigorated [giving new life]**

Xing is a prosperous country, to the east of what used to be the great country of Amestris, which has been made smaller by the neighbouring countries of Creta and Drachma invading them about two centuries ago. People from other call Xing many names, most of which change due to what mythology they are using. There is a legend that the Emperor is immortal, that even when Xing decided to change to a democracy, mimicking the countries surrounding it, and split itself into self-governed provenances, the Emperor remained, watching over them, and advising them. He is a religious figure, with his bodyguards with the strength of lions and gorillas, the skill of ninjas and a special type of magic called alchemy. The alkahestry that runs through the country is still the same at a basic level, but its name has changed, as well as the things people who can do with it. Art of the Emperor, a young man of around twenty has been dated to a thousand different centuries, with some even appearing today, marked by the odd tattoo of a dragon on his hand. He is an object of reverence, hoped by many to have been a real figure, and still alive today. Scholars say that it is impossible, but then again, nothing is truly impossible.

Greed and Ling sit in the place dubbed "the Emperor's secret palace", and if the myths were to be believed, it would be hidden within a mountain. It has the same art from centuries ago, the Emperor's prized library and portrait gallery. It is richly furnished, with plush chairs and stuffed hunting trophies of extinct species. Ed stretches on the sofa, settling with a purr on the silk cushions. Her head is on Heinkel's lap, who is idly playing with her hair as he sketches scenes from nearby towns. Darius is deeply engrossed with discussing political theories with Heinkel and trying to take a peek at what he is drawing. Lan Fan stands to the side, her face hidden in shadow as she guards the group from the… screaming, biting, red _things_ outside. She thinks that they are unnatural, all of them are, but they must be protected at all costs, as that is the Young Lord's wish. (That it is also her own remains unmentioned.)

Heinkel, unexpectedly for the tactical and cautious, fatherly man had died first. He had jumped in front of an attack meant for Mei Chang, and no amount of Alkahestry could fix it. Mourning lasted for weeks, and a village hidden amongst mountains, descended from the Chang clan still has a shrine to him. Darius had been soon after, saving a young family from a fire. On the site where the house once was, there is now a grove of trees growing. It is said that a carving from the tree will make the bearer strong, daring and chivalrous in battle; like the warriors of old. Ed and Lan Fan died together, guarding the other's back, doing their duty as protectors to the Emperor.

Of course, they did have a backup plan in case (_because of_) the mortality of their group. Ed had refused to leave Greed and Ling alone, saying that they'd find immortality far too boring without her, and she knew that Greed wouldn't take kindly to her being '_stolen'_ by death. Lan Fan had just looked at Ling, then at her arm, and then punched him. She would not leave her Young Lord. The chimeras weren't going to abandon Ed, nor Greed and Ling (and Lan Fan was becoming dearer to their hearts as well) ; so, cursing animal loyalty all the way, they had forced the homunculus' hand.

And so Greed absorbed their souls, adding them to his own, and feeling grateful as they fought their way out of the circle the same way as Ling did. Working out how to make their shared mind into the image of a palace took time, but visualisation and imagination was the key, as well as patience. And the five of them had tons of them all.

Greed and Ling look at their rag-tag family, and are grateful that their avarice was an excuse for keeping them as close to them as possible, for as long as their immortality lasts.

[They don't say forever, because **nothing** lasts forever, not even supposed immortals.]

* * *

**A.N:** Please don't kill me!

Umm... I can explain? Basically, there are three reasons why this hasn't been updated in such a long time:

1. Swimming season has officially started, so I am being entered into galas thereby eating up all of my spare time by training etc  
2. The scout group and my explorer unit have been running quite a lot of camps  
3. Exams are in 10 weeks and I need to start revising, and there are loads of papers and essays I'm doing

Since I normally update at weekends, and these have been my weekends... yeah. BUT I HAVE UPDATED. At long last.

If I ever go this long without updating, without warning, feel free to send me angry PMs or tumblr messages or whatever. Please.

On the bright side, I've watched about five new anime series, and given this story a cover? :D

_Well, thanks for reading, and I'm sorry it's taken so long! D:_

_- Tom_

_[ _thanks, as always, to the wonderful reviewers: WhatExistsInFalling, Hyper V, , FluehatrayaRoy-Mustang's-Girl, and aeva elementia


	28. Spilt Milk

**run, i'm natural disaster**

* * *

**28. Spilt Milk**

"Do you ever wonder," asks Greed, as he and Ed sit back lazily on the shabby table, watching as Heinkel and Darius manage to somehow be a hit with the girls at the dark tavern they are staying at, "what would have happened had our first meeting gone differently?"

Ed raises an eyebrow. "Differently _how_ exactly, Greed? You kidnapped my brother, hurt my teacher, then fought me and we both got pretty beat up- you totally cheated by your weird healing powers you know, you arsehole- and then you got the shit beaten out of you thoroughly by Fuhrer King Bradley, and your chimeras were slaughtered by Amestris' soldiers. What in _that_ pile of shit could have gone _differently_?"

Greed glares at her, and then pokes the top of her head lightly. "I mean, Stupid, that we probably could have met earlier. I mean, you were in Dublith for a relatively long time- for _you_ anyway- and ran around town quite a lot. I remember hearing about you from a few of the regulars at the 'Nest, actually."

"Oh?" She raises the other eyebrow, a smile hidden behind the dusty glass of an odd liquid that used to be fizzy but had been left open for far too long, and had too much sugar to really be good for her.

"Yeah, little blonde brat who the crazy wife of Sig Curtis was training- overly protective of a younger brother, big eyes that got him out of everything, and a genius at alchemy." He smiles, a tinge of pain to the smirk that shoots across his face. "I was curious- I almost went and collected you for myself."  
_'Your life would be so different_' Greed thinks.

Images of Martel, mothering Ed with a determination and an odd mix of tough love and softness appear in his mind. Dorchet would have loved Ed, he knows that he would've, and the two were (_are_) very similar. Dorchet would have been his older brother, and taught him all that he needed to know. Roa would've protected him with a soft tenderness, hidden behind his immense strength. And Greed himself?

Well… He probably would have made Ed loyal to him, and **only** him, but definitely waited a few years before he could satisfy the other part of his avarice.

Then again, **that** Ed would never have clap alchemy, never discover the Promised Day and try and save Amestris.  
He may have died when the soldiers came, or maybe would have just shut down because of being taken away from his brother (and at that time, his mother- even one that was rotting in a grave).  
Ed may never have become female (now **that** really would be a shame- a perfect creation of alchemy gone- although maybe he would have been equally as handsome as she was hot).

Greed looked up into Ed's smiling face. She brought the heel of her palm onto his forehead in revenge, before ruffling his hair cheekily.

"No point worrying about all the what-ifs now, _Boss_. I'm here now, anyway, so you would have got me eventually. Moving forward is the key."

The old pain from a wound that never really healed is visible; so to reassure her, Greed lightly squeezes her hands, meets Ed's eyes and matches her smile; before a particularly loud giggle from one of the girls causes them both to laugh.

"Shall we?" Greed asks, offering her his hand. "I think they'll be a while, and we can start getting the plans ready."

She pushes his hand away with a childish delight. "Race you upstairs!" She yells, and the golden plait is all he can see as she sprints away. Greed sighs, throwing his dignity to the wind as he chases after her. For some reason, he's glad that events turned out this way.

* * *

**A.N: **Oh hai. I am back. I think instead of weekly, I'm going to aim for at least every two weeks, updating as and when possible.

In other news, I have 48 exams. My friend at another school has 6. WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?  
_And _I have to devote a day of my hard-earned half term into going back into school, and I've already spent two days doing COURSEWORK. Really.

But, as always, the light of my life is your reviews. So it is with many thanks [and a wow, you're not in brackets this time!], I give you the wonderful reviewers:  
* For chapter 27: , Hyper V, Fluehatraya, aeva elementia, and the guest I think is Roy-Mustang's-Girl  
* For the pre-published chapter 28: and Dashita Tichou.

_May thanks and I hope you enjoyed,_

_-Tom_


	29. Contempt

**run i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**29. Contempt**

"I really don't approve of your life choices, Ed," Winry says softly. They are standing by the freshly dug grave of Hohenheim, the father that never really was much good for anything other than sacrificing himself (perhaps he was like Ed that way). They are standing side by side, Ed in her long red coat and Winry in her navy blue one, with a white trim.

The novelty of a female Ed had worn off after the few weeks in Risembool they had spent together. Dress shopping, introducing Ed to the finer parts of femininity, as well as touching up her automail; had been fun for a while, but a grumpy boy-turned-girl that was (still) struggling to deal with the hormones that trigger difference between the male and female points of view is perhaps not the best of people to choose to go shopping with.

Ed was due to go back with those men soon. "I mean, honestly!-" Winry throws her hands up in emphasis, turning to her best friend to try and get her to listen, "- The two chimeras tried to kill you-"

"-Under orders from Kimberly, and you saved Scar and _he_ was trying to kill you-"

"And that **thing** in Ling's body- it-"

"-He-"

"-_He_ is one of the bad guys, the immortal ones with the weird tattoos, isn't he?"

"Well, he's immortal, granted, and he _used _to be a bad guy, but-"

Winry glares sharply at Ed, and she trails off, ruffling the back of her head with one gloved hand.

"_Edward_. Those people- if you can even call them that- are _dangerous_. Please, Ed. Don't leave Al and I behind. Stay with Granny for a while- the shop can spare me for another week, and Al still isn't well!" Winry's blue eyes are large, full of emotion and unshed tears. "Please, Edward. Don't go with them."

Ed squeezes Winry's hand somewhat comfortingly, but her eyes are hard and cold. "Don't talk about them like that, Win. You don't know them." She puts a finger on Winry's lips gently. "And, who are you to talk about working with chimeras and killers. I know that we were desperate, I know that we wanted to be alive, but those _four_- Ling and Greed **share**, ya know?- are my friends. Al is _getting better_ very quickly, and is _meeting us out there_." She snorts. "You could come and visit sometime, too." She hugs Winry once, but then her voice turns as chilly as her eyes. "But, _don't you_ _ever, ever fucking insult them to my face again, no matter whether you're my best friend or not, because I won't let it slide a second time_." Her voice is filled with anger and disgust, and Winry bristles, shame filling her.

Then Ed smiles. "C'mon, Win. Let's go home and bother Granny for some stew, yeah?"

Winry understands what Ed means, and grasps her hand as they pay their last respects before walking home together under the setting sun.

* * *

**A.N:** Not everyone's as understanding as Al when it comes to Ed's friends.

I think this one might be my favourite, actually. C: We are going to get 3/10 of the way through by my birthday. I swear it.

_Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed_

_- Tom_

[And to the reviewers: benihime chan (who doesn't appear to be showing up when I do these things), Dashita Tichou and Fluehatraya - you guys are awesome!]


	30. Acceptance

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**30. Acceptance**

Pinako smiles as she puts the steaming hot stew down on the table. The three young men before her say a polite "thank you" before starting their meal, whilst Ed does what he, or rather, she always does. A few minutes later, the entire contents of her bowl has vanished.

"Fu-" Darius stops himself from uttering an expletive in front of the kind little old lady that chose to give them shelter and food. Ed was an angel, finding this old lady, she really was. "Damn, Ed. How'd you eat that so quickly?"

Ed smirks. "Practise. This old hag's cooking-" She points a thumb at Pinako "- was the only food I ever had for about four years, and before that I ate 'round here regular anyway."

"Don't call me an old hag, maggot!"  
"Who're you calling so short that worms look like bridges to her, ancient?!"  
"I'm calling _you _short, Pipsqueak! Don't insult your elders!"  
"Elder? Just calling yourself _old_, Granny?" Ed smiles, and Pinako acknowledges her win with a sharp nod, disgruntled but with mischief in her eyes.

"_GRANNY?!" _Chorus the males at the table.

"What, didn't Ed tell you?" Pinako smirks. "I'm Pinako Rockbell, Winry Rockbell's grandmother- you may have met her before?"

Darius and Heinkel remember a cute blonde mechanic that had introduced herself as Winry and nod.  
Ling shows Greed some memories- including his proposal, which makes Greed laugh, before he acknowledges that he knows of her.

"Winry was great friends with the Elrics, and of course, my son and his wife were friendly with their mother. And their father, Van Hohenheim was a drinking buddy of mine." Pinako closes her eyes to watch memories that drift across her mind, as Ed looks down at her plate, remembering her family.

"-Drinking buddies?" asks Heinkel, intrigued.  
"They used to call me the Pantheress of Risembool, undefeated in drinking contests all around Amestris."

They've seen that name dotted around pubs they've been to. Heinkel had wondered why Ed laughed every time she say one.

"What would you say to a challenge, Ma'am?" says Heinkel with a 'dashing' smile. Pinako opens a cupboard and takes out some shot glasses and a potent beverage.

"I'd say, I accept your challenge, so you'd better shut up and start drinking!" Pinako laughs, and they almost see the ghost of the young woman she once was.

In a surprise turn of events (for everyone who wasn't Pinako or Ed), Pinako won so easily that she was still taking shots after Heinkel had passed out.

* * *

_A.N.: [1st draft] __Lol, not what the prompt should really actually have been, but I wanted Pinako. C: But if you really want, think of it as Granny P accepting fem!Ed._

*rides in on a unicorn* Hello everyone, and this is the rare creature we call an 'update' of a fic written by the author 'Tom'. *unicorn vanishes*

In all seriousness, I apologise profusely for not getting this up sooner. I wanted it up by the 14th of April, but 2 months and about a week later, it's still not on there. The only excuse I can give is a shit-load of exams. :s  
But now I am freeeeeeeeeeee! So there should be a lot more updates! On a regular basis!  
THIS CAN IN NO WAY GO WRONG.

I am planning on getting to chapter 50 and be halfway there, definitely before the 1st of September, but hopefully before the 27th of July.

On another note- 3/10ths of the way through! *dances*  
Thank you all for your support, and I hope you like this update!

- _Tom_

_Thanks for the reviews from: , Dashita Tichou, Hyper V, Roy-Mustang's-Girl and aeva elementia  
[have you guys noticed yet that once I've replied to your reviews an update comes? xP] _


	31. City

**run, i'm a natural disaster**

* * *

**31. City**

"Fuck me," breathes Ed as she stares at the hustle and bustle around her. She unconsciously presses closer to Heinkel and Darius, seeking out their familiar bodies in the crowd. Ling is at the front, the main attraction, Lan Fan a shadow behind him, and there is a large crowd of cheering people around them. He is standing on a podium, speaking an unnecessarily complex and elaborate language, his gestures friendly and open, and a smile on his face. He sounds like he did at the beginning of their acquaintance, like he's a street magician or a con-man but the people love it.

"And this is just the welcoming committee," Heinkel smiles into her ear, his deep voice rumbling contentedly. Ed pushes him slightly, and takes their hands, spinning them in a circle. She takes her time to gaze at all the architecture, the paintings and sculptures; she takes her time to smell the spices cooking and almost taste the new foods by simply breathing in. "Oh, I love travelling."

"Never would've guessed that," grins Darius, snatching her alchemy notes. "A travel guide, huh?"  
"Oh, _please_" Ed rolls her eyes. "You are _just_, if not _more, _excited as I am, and you know it, you big nerd, you."

The two giant men both laugh and they push their way through the crowd, pausing when they find a back street.

"This will be really stupid." Heinkel says.  
"Ling and his guard won't be able to find us quickly if we get lost," muses Darius.  
"We could easily get lost and starve and die," is Ed's contribution.

They stare at the passage for a few seconds.

"TAG! YOU'RE IT!" Ed suddenly yells, and they spring into action, whooping and sprinting down the hidden passages of the city, sometimes as graceful as if they were dancers, other times looking like they were drunken loons; running this way, that way, forwards, backwards, alchemy and bullets flying every time they found somewhere deserted enough.

About three hours later, their game ends and they are lying by a riverbank at dusk, panting and sprawling and happy. The lights of the city float by, reflected in the water like fireflies. There are fireworks and stars, and they are happy and no one is chasing them. Only two things are missing- their Boss and their mascot-slash-pet (because Ling eats all their scraps and followed Ed around like a lost puppy most of the time). But they're there, and they're tired and they flop and fall asleep on one another once Ed has put the shelter up, as they're used to doing.

[Lan Fan, from the tree she is perched in, smiles and takes a photograph with the camera Ling got her in Amestris.

Ling and Greed keep it one of theirs pocket all the time they are able to, because it was really sort of perfect.]

* * *

**A.N: **Fluff! Lots of it! Heinkel/Darius/Ed bonding! Puppy-pile esque stuff! Childishness!

Team Stockholm five-ever! :D

_Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed,_

_Tom_

Thank you to the wonderful reviewers: Dashita Tichou, Roy-Mustang's-Girl,


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